Let’s face it, being single on Valentine’s Day sucks!! There’s nothing worse than scrolling through your timeline and seeing all the lovey-dovey posts and lavish gifts on everyone’s page except yours. Oh yeah, I get it. I’ve spent many years being single on Valentine’s Day (including this one) so I’m no stranger to the feelings of “when will it be me” that seem to be magnified around this time. Oh, the horror.
Well, I guess I should say I used to feel that way. Thankfully, my perspective has changed and I’m so glad it did. Instead of being sad about not being booed up, I look at Valentine’s Day as a day to celebrate the other types of love that are present in my life.
First and foremost, I love on me. Personally, I believe that in order to love someone else properly you must first love yourself. That means doing the work to address and heal from past traumas and reevaluating your desire for a relationship to ensure that you’re not trying to fill a void but actually desire healthy companionship.
Secondly, I love on my family and friends. I truly thank God for my tribe and I feel so blessed to have them. When I think about all the rough times I’ve been through and how unwavering they’ve been in supporting me, my heart is so overjoyed. I really love and appreciate them. God has blessed me with an amazing support system and I’m so thankful for them.
And last but certainly not least, I spend time loving on God. My relationship with God is really what led me to change my views on Valentine’s Day. I would spend so many nights questioning when God would send my Boaz only to be disappointed when it didn’t happen. Then finally, God spoke to me revealed that my heart wasnt right concerning my desire for a mate.
Even though, I didn’t think I was being vain or shallow in my request, when I really sat down and thought about it, I kinda was. Now don’t get me wrong, I want a Godly man with all the attributes that come along with that but there was a part of me that wanted a relationship just so I could be like everyone else and post my cute couple pics on the gram. It was almost like that pic would’ve been a badge of honor or something. Crazy right? I lowkey cringe when I think about it.
When you’re a believer, everything you do is supposed to glorify God. Nothing is exempt including your romantic relationships. Now, how in the world would my relationship glorify God if the only reason I wanted it was so I could satisfy this ridiculous need to follow the crowd? I’ll answer that for you, It wouldn’t’ve. That realization was definitely an Ah-Ha moment for me.
Once I checked myself (and repented for acting desperate lol) the way I viewed Valentine’s Day and all holidays, in general, instantly changed. Changing my perspective and looking at things through God’s lens showed me that I’m loved whether I’m in a relationship or not. I always was and I always will be.
If anyone is feeling the blues today, I pray that you take a moment and recognize all the love that’s present in your life and celebrate it. Remember, singleness is not a curse or a punishment. It’s an opportunity to heal, get to know yourself, and strengthen your relationship with God. Until your good thang comes, keep doing you and LIVE!! Don’t waste this time in your life where you have no one to answer to but yourself. My married friends remind me of that often so I’m making the most of this time. I hope you’ll do the same.
Be encouraged Y’all